Back From My Journey

[Captain Jim]

Aie am most pleased to be back at this Breukelen Art Project! Been away on a great trip across the sea with my friends pin cushion, my faithful dog Fred and of course Mollusc who is always close by and aie! he is a task to keep in line. He gets mighty big for my britches at times especially in the many exotic ports of call where we sought respite from the roiling sea. Rio, The Isles of Greece, Paris and Amsterdam were all a grand time but when we called on the Albinos of the Arctic our fortunes took a dark turn. You see Mollusk in an act of hubris joined uninvited into the bizarre and exclusive rites of the Albinos. They took such offense at his infraction that they nearly removed his scalp but then they called upon one of their holy men to conjure a hideous sea monster! And so as we fled and attempted to set sail, ourselves and our vessel were swallowed whole. For days we were tossed to and fro in total darkness, breathing the horrendous stench of rotting octopus carcasses. Finally we somehow gathered our wits. I managed to keep a kerosene lamp alight for long enough to find my harpoon. Presently the beast seemed to be sleeping so harpoon in hand I climbed down onto the surface of whatever organ we were trapped in. Be it stomach or gall bladder I waded knee deep in putrid slime until I reached a gelatinous wall. Feeling around I found a tiny hole. With both arms and all my strength I forced the hole open and was greeted by a great whoosh of a gaseous cloud that caused me to wretch and gasp, throwing me back with force against the hull of my craft. As Pin Cushion came to my aid the commotion had awakened our resentful host and the tossing and turning resumed with a vengeance. Somehow we managed to light two torches and me with harpoon and pin cushion with a machete then dashed through the flaccid opening. Fred, growling ferociously, leaped through close behind. Slogging, slipping and sliding through the noxious jelly, the occasional chunk hitting us in the face, we came to to what felt like a ladder or a steep staircase. We scurried up the stairs past giant heaving balloons and we quickly realized the balloons were the creature's lungs and the steps were it's ribs. Soon we reached a plateau that throbbed rythmically beneath our feet and there, suspended by pulsating tubes before us was a heaving, shaking engine of flesh as big as a small truck. Knowing what we must do we attacked the monster's heart. Overcome with the joy of battle I thrust my harpoon, Pin Cushion slashed his machete and fred gnawed with his sharp little teeth while we were all showered with hot blood. Having not eaten in days we all began to gorge ourselves on the fibrous yet sharp and succulent meat. Finally, sitting back satisfied, the heart hanging still, we looked at each other and knew that the monster was dead.
Next day, rested and in better spirits, we set to work. Using my old two man saw that I keep below deck we cut a large hole in the top of the creature as a skylight and cut several portholes. Employing a few of the monster's ribs as oars we set a course for home.
So that is the story of my summer vacation! C'mon up to Glaucester for some monster meat and some good cheer!! And a super salty Arrrrgggghhh!!! To Youuuuu!!!!!!